Cyberbullying: a parent’s guide

What cyberbullying is

Cyberbullying is repeated, deliberate harm carried out through digital means. It can take the form of messages, group chats, comments, posts, fake profiles, rumours, shared images, exclusion from groups, or pressure during online games.

It can be harder to escape than bullying at school. It can be constant, the audience can be large, and the person responsible can be anonymous.

Signs a child may be affected

• Reluctance to use a phone or go online, or being upset after using it
• Changes in sleep, appetite or mood
• Avoiding school, asking to change routes or friendships
• Secrecy about messages, or deleting accounts or apps suddenly
• Lower confidence, or belongings or money that go missing
• Physical complaints such as headaches or stomach aches before school

Many children who are bullied do not tell their parents. A change in behaviour is a reason to ask gently, not proof on its own.

How to respond in the first conversation

• Listen first, and thank your child for telling you.
• Avoid blaming them or asking what they did to provoke it.
• Ask what they want to happen, and agree the next steps together.
• Explain that you will not take their phone away without warning, because they need to be able to tell you things.

Document what is happening

1. Take screenshots of each message, comment or post, showing the date, time and account name. Keep the link where you can.
2. Keep a simple log: what happened, when, who was involved, and whether anyone else saw it.
3. Store copies somewhere safe, not only on the device where the bullying happened.
4. Do not reply to the bully, or post about it publicly in a way that could escalate things.

If the material is sexual, or shows a child, do not forward or copy it further. Report it to the platform and to the police or child-protection service instead, and get advice before saving copies.

Block, report and work with the school

Help your child block the account and report it on the platform. Reports are usually more effective when they include clear evidence.

Most schools have an anti-bullying policy and a named pastoral or safeguarding lead. Contact them in writing, share your evidence, and ask what they will do, by when, and how they will update you. Many schools can act on online bullying that affects their pupils, even when it happens outside school hours.

When to escalate

• Threats of violence, or any threat to share private images
• Sexual content, or requests for images
• Impersonation, or fake accounts made to humiliate your child
• Bullying that continues after the school has acted
• Signs of self-harm, or talk of not wanting to live
• Refusal to attend school, or fear of being alone with particular people

In these cases, contact the police, the child-protection service in your area, or a specialist helpline. Written records make these conversations faster.

If your child is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. For urgent support, see the help now directory.

Supporting your child

• Tell them, more than once, that the bullying is not their fault.
• Keep familiar routines, and make time for activities they enjoy.
• Involve trusted adults, such as a relative, coach or teacher they like.
• Consider counselling through the school or a child psychologist if their distress lasts.