Talking to your child about online safety

Start early and keep it short

You do not need one big talk. Short, regular conversations work better than a single lecture. Ask about what they enjoy online as often as you ask about the risks.

Conversation starters by age

Ages 6 to 9

• “What is your favourite game, and who do you play it with?”
• “If someone you do not know asks you to keep a secret, what could you do?”
• “Can you show me how to block someone?”
• “What could you do if something online made you feel scared or sad?”

Ages 10 to 12

• “Who do you talk to in your games or group chats?”
• “Has anything made you uncomfortable online? What did you do?”
• “How could you tell if a profile was fake?”
• “What should you never share, such as your address, your school or your passwords?”

Ages 13 to 15

• “What does a good online friend look like to you, and how is that different from someone who only wants something from you?”
• “Has anyone asked you for photos, or to move to another app?”
• “How do you feel when people in your group chats are cruel? What helps?”
• “If a friend asked you for help with something online, what would you do?”

Ages 16 and over

• “What do your privacy settings look like, and who can see your posts?”
• “How do you spot a scam or an offer that is too good to be true?”
• “Who would you go to if an online relationship turned bad or someone threatened you?”
• “What do you want from me as a parent for your online life, and what would you change?”

A tone that keeps children talking

• Stay curious rather than suspicious. Ask what they think before you give your view.
• Never punish a child for telling you about a problem. Children learn quickly which answers are safe.
• Let them teach you about the apps they use. It shows respect and gives you a way in.
• Talk side by side, in the car or on a walk. Many children open up more when they do not have to look at you.
• Keep your language plain, and stay calm if the conversation touches on something hard.

Family agreements

Agreements work best when they are written together and reviewed regularly. Keep them short, explain the reasons, and say what will happen if something goes wrong. The answer should be support, not only losing access.

• We tell each other when something online worries us, and nobody is punished for telling.
• We keep details such as our address, school and daily routine private.
• We do not send photos to people we have only met online, and we do not keep secrets about adults who ask us for them.
• We ask before installing new apps or spending money in games.
• We review these agreements together every few months.

Using SafeCircle alerts to start the conversation

SafeCircle does not show you the messages. When the on-device check flags something, you receive an alert with a severity, a category, a short written reason and a suggested next step. Use that alert as a reason to talk, not as evidence against your child.

• Open the conversation with what the app does, not with an accusation: “SafeCircle flagged something in one of your chats, and I would like to understand it with you.”
• Explain what the alert means, and what it does not mean. Alerts can be wrong in both directions.
• Tell your child what SafeCircle does and does not see. Being open about it keeps the arrangement fair.
• You can show your child how the app works. See SafeCircle for teens.

When a conversation reveals something serious

Sometimes a talk reveals something more serious. Stay calm, listen, and do not promise what you cannot keep. Read the guides on sextortion and grooming for next steps.

If your child seems frightened, is being threatened, or mentions self-harm, get professional help now. Call your local emergency number if they are in immediate danger, or see the help now directory.